How To Let Go Of The Mindset Blocks That Have Been Holding You Back

Are there areas of your life that feel unnecessarily hard and try as you might you just can’t seem to crack the code? Maybe managing your money feels needlessly difficult, your relationships are always filled with drama and strife, or you’re often held back by ill health.

Whatever your particular grievance, we’ll bet you limiting beliefs are to blame.

See, our beliefs impact every single area of our lives, from relationships and career to confidence and money. They have the power to help us succeed, and the potential to prevent us from even trying. Limiting beliefs can scupper us at every turn if we let them.

They influence the way we think and behave, the decisions we make, and our outlook on the world. 

Put simply, limiting beliefs are ingrained negative thoughts that limit your growth. They are falsehoods that block us from achieving our full potential and keep us playing small.

Ready to shift some of yours? Great! But first…

Limiting beliefs: where do they come from?

Most of our limiting beliefs are formed in childhood. In fact, some neurologists believe that by age 7 most of our psychological conditioning is already complete.

In other words, the way we think and feel about ourselves and the world around us has already been determined from an early age, and will continue into adulthood… Unless of course, we choose to change things.

Think of it this way: as a child, your mind was a little like a sponge, soaking up everything your caregivers said and did. You listened to the adults around you and accepted their words as absolute truth, so chances are if you grew up hearing that ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’, you’ll likely hold that belief now as well.

Some limiting beliefs are formed in adulthood too. They start with a singular thought that then attracts more thoughts just like it. Repeated over and over again that thought eventually becomes a belief, ingrained in your subconscious mind and influencing the way you behave.

In fact, scientists suggest that as much as 95 per cent of our thoughts and behaviours come from the subconscious mind. In other words? The influence your limiting beliefs have is huge.

Ever wondered what a limiting belief sounds like? Here are some common ones:

·        I’m not good enough

·        I’m undeserving of love

·        I’ll never be successful

·        I need to be thinner/richer/more intelligent to achieve what I want

·        I can’t do that

·        Other people don’t like me

·        You have to work really hard to be successful

Make no mistake: Not all beliefs are bad and you might have beliefs that empower you, but you likely have a few that hold you back too. It’s these guys you’ll want to befriend, decode, and ultimately let go of.

Ready to do just that? Here’s how…

How to let go of limiting beliefs

Be patient

Full disclosure: undoing years of psychological conditioning isn’t something that’s going to happen overnight. Healing your limiting beliefs is an ongoing process that takes patience, dedication, and a willingness to succeed.

And guess what? The work will never be done. There will always be some new limiting belief to work through. That might seem like a negative thing, but really it’s a positive as it ensures you are continually growing and expanding.

Facing your emotional blocks can be a confronting experience, but if you stick with it and be gentle with yourself throughout, it will be a rewarding one too.

Identify your limiting beliefs

You can’t fix what you aren’t aware of.

The easiest way to spot some of your most troublesome limiting beliefs? Look at the areas of your life that routinely feel difficult.

When you can’t quite overcome a certain struggle in your life no matter how hard you try, you can be certain that a limiting belief is at play. This is the part where you grab your journal and start writing things down. It may help you to use headings, such as career, finance, relationships, and confidence, and reflect on the beliefs you hold around each one.

If you’re finding this part of the process tricky, ask yourself some questions: What do I complain about? When do I make up excuses for myself? When am I most likely to judge myself and others?

Answer these questions honestly and you might be surprised at what comes up. A pro tip: Look out for phrases starting with ‘I can’t’ ‘I’m not’ and ‘I’ll never’. They usually indicate some tightly held limiting beliefs you have about yourself.

Dig a little deeper

Have you ever questioned why you think the way you do? Or asked yourself where a particular belief may have come from? This step is crucial when it comes to untangling your limiting beliefs. Pick a certain belief right now, write it on a piece of paper, and jot down where you might have heard it.

Did a parent constantly utter these words when you were a kid? Did you hear it at school? Maybe, as an adult, you had a bad experience, and it shifted the way you felt about yourself and the world. Over time it became part of your identity.

Write out anything that comes to mind and review your list when you’re done. This simple practice allows you to see how your limiting belief was formed. Why’s that important? Because it helps you see that the belief isn’t a fact. Rather it’s something that has developed over the course of your life. It gives you a choice: continue with the belief, or create a new one.

If this part of the process feels particularly challenging, it may be a good idea to enlist the help of a therapist.

Use affirmations

So now you know what your limiting beliefs are and you have a good idea of where many of them came from. The next step is letting them go for good. The simplest way to do exactly that? Create new, empowering beliefs and repeat them over and over again.

Positive statements that are repeated out loud or inside your head are known as affirmations. When used consistently, affirmations have the power to rewire our subconscious minds.

Take one of your negative beliefs and turn it on its head. For example, ‘I’m not good enough’ could become ‘I am confident and capable and I can achieve anything I put my mind to.’

To really enforce that belief, start finding evidence that supports it. Look back through your life and think of all the times you’ve succeeded, whether it was a small triumph like getting an A on a test in school or a major win like landing a coveted promotion at work.

The more evidence you can gather, the more you’ll buy into this new belief, and the deeper it will embed in your subconscious.

Expand your mind

Have you ever heard that you are the grand sum of the five people you spend the most time with? It’s true, the people around us inevitably impact the way we think and feel, and they shape our beliefs too.

You might not be able to trade in your friends and family, but you can start to shift your thinking by getting close to people with growth mindsets.

These people believe that anything – and everything – is possible. They see setbacks and failure as stepping stones to success and they’ve likely spent some time working on – and ultimately overcoming – their own limiting beliefs. Spend enough time in their company, and their positivity and wisdom will inevitably rub off.

Perhaps you don’t have anyone like this in your immediate circle. That’s okay! It’s time to head to your nearest bookstore and pick up a personal development book or five. These books are authored by inspiring coaches, speakers, and survivours who’ll expose you to new ideas and ways of living.

You can also expand your social circle. If you’re looking for positive pals, consider joining online communities in the personal development space.

Act in alignment with your beliefs

Now for the tricky part.

Imagine an exciting opportunity has just landed in your email inbox. Normally you wouldn’t even entertain the idea because you’ve had a long-standing belief that you aren’t good enough, but with your new empowering beliefs, you reckon you might just have the confidence to take this new challenge on. Armed with a newfound sense of self-worth, you accept the opportunity and hit send.

This is acting in alignment with your new beliefs. Changing your mindset isn’t just about thinking differently, it’s about acting differently too.

As often as you can, put your new beliefs into practice, that might mean saying no more often and setting firmer boundaries, developing healthier habits, or speaking to yourself more kindly.

Create an alter ego

Know that your limiting beliefs will be persistent. They’ll pop up time and again when you think you’ve overcome them. The fix? Create your very own alter ego and give that character a name.

This alter ego isn’t held back by limiting beliefs. They have supercharged confidence and they never play small. They reach out and grab every opportunity with both hands.

Every time a limiting belief rears its ugly head, ask yourself: what would my alter ego do? Then do it! When you take this step, your limiting beliefs won’t stand a chance.