How To Be A Better Decision Maker In 7 Steps

Some decisions are easy, like deciding to have another cup of coffee or clicking ‘add to cart’ on that shiny new pair of boots. But some decisions are undeniably harder.

Yep, we’re talking about those huge life-altering choices that invariably change the course of your life forever. It could be taking the plunge and finally changing careers, moving across the country or continent, booking that gap year or deciding you’re finally ready to start a family.

As exciting as these opportunities and experiences are, we often find ourselves wracked with indecision, uncertain whether to go this way or that. And sometimes, we decide to simply do nothing at all, too consumed by the fear of choosing the wrong path.

It’s not always easy to know what direction to go and prolonged indecision can take a toll on your mental health.

It’s all too easy to talk yourself out of progress. So, when you’re at a crossroads in life, how can you improve your decision making skills and make choices that are better aligned with who you are and who you want to be? Let us show you.

But first…

Why is it so hard to make decisions anyway?

It should be so simple, right? Just pick this one or that one. And yet, rumination, lengthy discussions, and hours of research are often par for the course when it comes to making even the most clear-cut of choices.

Don’t beat yourself up. There are actually lots of reasons why so many of us have such difficulty making decisions, such as:

The paradox of choice

Look around you, and you’ll realise that you have more options available to you right now than your parents did. Whether it’s your choice of career, where you choose to live, or the decision to have kids.

Having so much choice is obviously a great thing, but it also inevitably means you need to put more thought into each and every decision because you’re overwhelmed.

Fear of failure

The paradox of choice also inhibits your decision making in another way: it makes you pretty darn terrified of getting it wrong.

With so many paths available to you, it feels impossible to know which one you’re destined to walk. Choose one and you risk losing out on the other. Choose the other, and you might be sacrificing something else.

You’re not indecisive, you just have FOBO: that’s fear of better options, FYI.

Insecurities

Sometimes it’s that little voice that says ‘I’m not good enough’ that prevents us from taking calculated risks.

We’re too stuck in our comfort zone or too doubtful of our abilities to grab those big opportunities with both hands. Instead, we endlessly mull over our options and allow our insecurities to cloud our judgement.

You reckon you’re uncertain about which way to go; really you’re using indecision as an excuse to cover up your self-doubt. Yep, when you let your limiting beliefs rule the roost, decisions become inexplicably harder.

Now you know why indecision happens, you’re in a better position to overcome it. Fortunately, you can do just that with the following seven steps…

How To Be A Better Decision Maker In 7 Steps

Do your homework

The word ‘homework’ might make you groan like a lazy schoolchild, but don’t fret, this process will give you clarity and doing a bit of research is essential to your decision-making success.

Whether you’re deciding to change jobs or contemplating moving cities, you’ll undoubtedly need to know the details, like what the climate and cost of living are like. Does the company have a high turnover of staff, is there free tea and coffee in the break room?

To get that all-important intel, you can reach out to people in the know, be they professionals, natives, or experts in a particular field. You might also find what you’re looking for via – reputable! – online sources, but be selective about where you look.

Not everything you discover during the research phase will be relevant to your decision-making process (do you really care that your new office has installed wellness pods?) but you’ll undoubtedly stumble across pieces of info that are massive pros or major cons.

Jot these down in a notebook so you can review them at a later date.

Mull it over in the mornings

Have you ever heard of decision fatigue? The term describes how our decision-making abilities dwindle throughout the day. Think about it: you make thousands of decisions day-in-day-out from what to have for lunch to how to respond to a confrontational email.

By evening time, much of your decision-making skills have already been depleted. (That’s why it’s often so hard to decide what to have for dinner.)

If a life-changing decision is looming over you, set some time aside in the mornings to really get into it. Your cognitive abilities will be much sharper and you’ll be able to do plenty of clear-headed thinking.

Hone in on your values

What’s really important to you? Is it having the freedom to live your life with fun and adventure? Or being financially stable and secure? For some people, nothing tops friends and family. For others, ambition and achievement are of prime importance.

Take some time to really consider your personal values AKA the priorities that take pride of place in your life and use these to guide your choices.

Here are some examples:

·        Enjoyment and fun

·        Adventure

·        Achievement

·        Service

·        Equality

·        Individuality

·        Responsibility

·        Courage

·        Continual learning

·        Loyalty

·        Family & friends

·        Creativity

·        Knowledge

·        Leadership

·        Balance

·        Belonging

·        Compassion

·        Health

·        Happiness

·        Hard work

·        Exploration

Your goal is to align with these values as closely as possible. The best bit? Once you know what’s truly important to you in life (and crucially, what isn’t) decision-making becomes so much easier. Hurrah!

Ask for a second opinion, but not a third or fourth

When you’re struggling with a looming decision, you’ll want to ask others what they think.

But here’s the thing: Other people’s opinions will undoubtedly be clouded by their own internal bias. They might have had bad experiences that cloud their judgement or have ulterior motives that steer you in the wrong direction. (Remember, not everyone wants what’s best for you.)

It’s okay to get a second opinion from someone you trust but resist the urge to ask everyone you meet. Too many opinions will overwhelm you and make your decision even harder.

Look for someone who knows you well and has similar values to your own. What do they think? 

Other people’s opinions can certainly be useful when it comes to providing perspectives you might not have thought of, but remember this: you know best.

Ask yourself some tough questions

Introspection is not a rush job and you’ll need to think long and hard about what you really want and why you’re struggling with this decision. That’s where questions come in. We’re talking probing questions that really get into the nitty gritty of your goals and priorities in life.

You should have already spent some time getting clear on your personal values (as we advised above). Now it’s time to go a step further. For this step, we advise grabbing your journal and setting aside an hour. Make sure you won’t be disturbed.

Take some time to relax, and when you’re ready, free-write your answers to the following questions:

·        How does this decision align with my personal values, goals, and priorities in life?

·        If I made this decision, what would I be sacrificing? What might I lose out on?

·        Am I holding back because on some level I’m worried about what other people might think?

·        Am I afraid of self-judgement or worried about falling short of my own expectations?

·        If I were free to do whatever I wanted, without negative consequences or judgement, what would I choose?

·        How do I feel when I imagine grabbing this opportunity with both hands? How do I feel about saying no?

·        Am I only struggling with this decision because I’m scared? What exactly am I afraid of? Is there a way to make this choice less intimidating?

·        Is there a hidden third option that I haven’t considered? Or a way of combining the best of both worlds?

·        Do I believe my future self will thank me for making this decision five or 10 years from now?

Avoid rumination ruination

How long do you take to make big decisions? Hours, weeks, months? The longer you deliberate the harder it gets.

Set yourself a deadline. Tell yourself that you need to make a decision by a certain date – it could be by the end of the day or before the end of the week – and stick to it.

Ask a friend to keep you accountable if you reckon you’ll struggle. And ask yourself this: how much time do you really have?

Life is short, do you really want to look back and realise you took so long to make a decision that you let great opportunities pass you by?

Go with your gut

Okay, we know you’ve heard this one before, but hear us out.

When in doubt, really tune into your energy. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and notice how your body feels when you consider each option. Don’t judge or pre-empt your responses. Just relax and see how you feel.

You might notice a lot of resistance coming up when you visualise a particular path. Ask yourself: is this a sign that I don’t really want to go this way, or is it fear at the prospect of stepping outside of my comfort zone?

Learn to decipher which is which (it may help you to label the exact emotion you’re feeling), and know this: fear should never hold you back from making the right choices.

(Pro tip: meditation allows you to tune into your energy. Practice it regularly if you want to get a better grip on how you’re really feeling.)

“But what if I make the wrong decision?!”

In her book Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, Dr Susan Jeffers argues that there are no wrong decisions. No matter what choices you make, you learn, adapt, and grow. Each choice we make leads us down a different path, each one providing opportunities to grow along the way.

“We fear that the wrong decision will deprive us of something, like money, friends, lovers, status, or whatever the right decision is supposed to bring us,” Jeffers writes.

But, she explains, there really is nothing to lose. There is only something to gain, whatever choices you make.

If you’re faced with a tricky decision, that ought to alleviate some of your worries right there.

Other resources

Making Better Decisions: Decision Theory in Practice by Itzhak Gilboa

Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work by Chip Heath and Dan Heath

The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz

The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli

“Yes” or “No”: The Guide to Better Decisions by Spencer Johnson