Have You Been Set Back By Self Sabotage?

Here’s Why It Happens And How To Overcome It 

We’ve all been there, right? You set a goal and for a time you seamlessly make progress towards it. And then BAM. Out of nowhere, you find yourself slipping back into old habits. 

The sky-high motivation you had at the start is now missing in action and try as you might you can’t quite get back into your groove. 

Hello, self-sabotage. Yep, this cheeky little buggar is the enemy of your goals. He wants to stop you in your tracks and prevent you from reaching your full potential, no matter how happy and fulfilled those goals will make you. 

We’ve all encountered self-sabotage and it’s most likely to strike when you feel like you’re making real change. Perhaps you set yourself a savings target and you were really making headway when, out of the blue, you got the urge to squander your cash. 

Or maybe you were doing everything right to achieve a weight loss goal: eating healthily, working out, and stepping on the scales, when suddenly you’re hit with a case of lazy-itis and all you want is a McDonald’s. 

Before you realise it, you’re back where you started. 

Self-sabotage is insidious in nature. It can derail you before you’ve even noticed and even make you unwilling to try again. The worst bit? Self-sabotage can chip away at your self-esteem. 

When it derails your efforts, you might wrongly believe that you’re simply a failure and, in turn, decide there’s no point in trying when you obviously don’t have what it takes to achieve your goals. 

Self-sabotage paints a pretty bleak picture but we want you to know that it’s not all bad. In fact, self-sabotage serves a pretty vital function, and we promise you that with a little know-how, you can and will conquer it. 

Are you ready to overcome self-sabotage? Great. Let us guide you through it. 

But first, let’s answer this little nugget… 

Why does self-sabotage happen in the first place? 

It’s all to do with a part of our brain known as the ego. When you think of the word ‘ego’, you might imagine someone who is boastful or full of themselves, but the ego is a vulnerable part of our subconscious that will do anything to keep us safe. 

Yep, even if it’s to our detriment. 

You see, the ego perceives any change to your circumstances as a threat, even if it’s something great like unexpectedly receiving a huge pay raise or creating a consistent exercise habit. It wants to pull you right back to your comfort zone to avoid any potential pain or suffering. 

Self-sabotage is the ego’s defense mechanism. When you try to change for the better, it will find sneaky ways to steer you off track to prevent you from potentially getting hurt. It can often show up in the form of fear and self-doubt, or even physically manifest as illness or fatigue. 

The ego is really your friend. It just wants to protect you, after all, but it can scupper your progress in life if it’s not kept in check. 

Follow these tips to work with your ego, get out of your own way, and ultimately say ‘goodbye’ to your inner saboteur… 

How to overcome self-sabotage 

Learn to spot the signs 

You can’t fix what you don’t know is broken. That’s why when you set any new goal you should look out for any little signs that self-sabotage is about to attack. 

Is your motivation waning? Are you slipping back into old habits? Are you suddenly finding change a whole lot tougher than when you started? 

These are all surefire signs that a period of self-sabotage is on the horizon (Don’t panic, predicting sabotage before it happens makes you a whole lot more equipped to deal with it when it does). 

Trouble is, these signs can be tricky to spot if you aren’t paying attention. Consider keeping a daily journal where you reflect on your progress and take note of how you’re feeling. 

Armed with this journal, you can pinpoint when you’re in danger of self-sabotaging and create a plan to turn things around. 

Explore your inner world

If there’s a sticking point in your life — whether it’s caused by self-sabotage or something else — you can guarantee there’s something going on below the surface. Usually, it’s limiting beliefs about what we’re capable of and how much we deserve to be happy. 

You see, you can try with all your might to achieve something, but unless you address feelings of unworthiness, you won’t get far before your inner saboteur intervenes. 

If you have beliefs like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m not deserving of success” you can bet your ass, your ego will do its best to make sure that’s the case. 

These beliefs are comfortable and familiar, and so the ego sees them as safe and will fight against any thoughts or behaviours that suggest otherwise. 

The first step in overthrowing the ego is to get those limiting beliefs out on paper. Think of what you struggle most with in life. Maybe it’s your career, your relationships, or your finances. Then do some serious introspection. 

Consider what beliefs you hold around these topics. Do you believe they are always fraught with difficulties, or that you’re undeserving in a particular area? Write it all down. 

If you’d like to go one further, you can write about where you think these specific beliefs may have come from. When you figure out how a particular belief was formed, it allows you to question its validity and ultimately, let it go. 

Empower yourself with new beliefs 

Now that you know what limiting beliefs have been holding you back — and the role they play in self-sabotage — we hope you’re feeling inspired to try some new beliefs on for size. 

That’s right: your beliefs aren’t set in stone and you can change them at any moment. It can take a little while for your subconscious mind to get on board, but once it does, it’ll make self-sabotage a whole easier to manage and even avoid. 

Sometimes changing your beliefs is as simple as changing the way you see something. You simply need to embrace a new perspective, and BAM, you’ve up-leveled your mindset with not much effort at all. Other times, you’ll need repetition to ensure a new belief sticks. 

This is where affirmations come in handy. Affirmations are simply short affirming statements that you repeat over and over again until they shape how you feel about yourself and the world.

Some good ones where self-sabotage is concerned include: 

• I am deserving of every single thing I desire 
• It is safe for me to have the things I want 
• I am perfect exactly as I am 
• I am in control of my thoughts, behaviours, and actions  

Look back at your list of limiting beliefs, and choose which affirmations work best for you, or — better yet — create some of your own. The more specific the better! 

Don’t be afraid to start over 

Did you know the more you expose yourself to a challenge the easier and less intimidating it becomes? In psychology, it’s called exposure therapy and it helps you overcome activities and situations that cause fear and anxiety. 

That’s good news for anybody who has tried and failed. (That’d be all of us, right?!) It means the more you try the easier it’ll become — and second time around those challenges won’t seem quite so tough. 

Yep, refusing to quit is self-sabotage’s arch enemy. 

The best way to approach an intimidating challenge is to expose yourself to it gradually. So, that means taking small steps towards your goals, rather than big scary leaps. 

Bonus point: when you start slow, your ego is less likely to freak out too. 

Visualize your ideal outcomes 

When self-sabotage creates self-doubt and causes you to question why you started in the first place, it can be helpful to reconnect with your goals. 

One of the easiest ways to do just that is to visualise them as though they have already happened. 

When the going gets tough and you’re struggling to stay committed, close your eyes and picture what your life would look like if everything you ever wanted manifested. If it’s easier, you might like to focus on one specific goal at a time. 

Really get into this step. Imagine it in as much detail as you can and really sink into those feelings of gratitude, excitement, and fulfillment. 

That buzzy feeling of accomplishment? Yeah, that’s more powerful than any form of self sabotage. Keep going back to those images as often as you can. It’ll inspire you to keep going when your motivation is lagging. 

Accept it as part of your journey 

Here’s something you probably don’t want to hear, but we promise it will ultimately help you on your journey: self-sabotage is going to happen again and again. And then some. 

Yep, every time you set a lofty new goal you’re going to come up against it. It’s going to do its best to set you back and keep you stuck in your comfort zone. The bigger the goal, the more you’ll encounter it. 

But see, that’s the fun part. Achieving goals is all about getting to your next level. It’s about growing into the version of yourself you want to become, and in order to grow, you need to be stretched. 

You need to learn new things and get a little uncomfortable. You need to challenge yourself and conquer those voices inside of you that say ‘you’re not enough’ or ‘that’s not possible’. 

Self-sabotage isn’t something to be feared. Rather it’s a concept to befriend. And when you play it right, you can use it as a stepping stone to your next achievement, rather than a stumbling block that prevents you from moving forward. 

According to a popular proverb, “Success is not about reaching the goal itself. It’s about who we become in the process.” 

Those are words to live by, we reckon.